Difficult times

Well the past 2 months have been pretty darn stressful and well, not fun really. I did find out I am pregnant, which is a happy thing. I have always loved being pregnant. The problem is, Chad and I have been going through some difficult times. We have been fighting a lot more and anyone who knows me knows that I am not a nice person when I am mad. I can actually get pretty darn mean and spiteful. I don't like being this way and I am working on it. I am reading self help books, seeing a counselor, on top of marriage counseling. Right now he is pretty much staying at his brothers house. Yes, I did ask for him to stay there to give me some time to think. I know I want to be with him, but I was tired of all of the crap. I wont go into great detail on here because I don't feel it is necessary for everyone to know everything. He is now working, which will help out A LOT!!! That will ease a lot of stress on me, especially right now with me being pregnant. I can't work those long hours like I want to be able to. My body just won't allow it, plus with all the stress it is not good for me or the baby at all. It has actually had me a bit worried, which I plan on discussing with the doctor on Friday when I go in. I just know that I love Chad with all of my heart and I want to be with him, to grow old with him. I want us to work out and I know we can, we just have some stuff we need to deal with and to get past on our own. Yes marriage is about working together and being there for each other, but if you can't even be there for yourself, how can you be there for someone else? Is it possible? I don't really think so. I miss Chad so much when he isn't here. I miss laying next to him in bed, sitting next to him on the couch...chatting with him throughout the evening...sigh. I just want things to be going well between us again. For us to be back on track. I am sure we will get there. It may take some time and it may not be easy, but I plan on working my butt off until it happens. ;-)